


Tony's Horror Picture Show

by Amjead



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Flustered!Steve, Friendship, Gen, references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-17
Updated: 2014-06-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 02:18:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1801765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amjead/pseuds/Amjead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when Captain America's never seen Rocky Horror? You take him to see a shadow cast of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tony's Horror Picture Show

**Author's Note:**

> If you've ever seen a shadow cast, you know. Feel free to follow me on tumblr at followallthefandoms

Tony Stark considered himself to be a bit of a movie buff. So, when it came to all the classics that Steve Rodgers missed, Tony took it upon himself to educate him. They watch lots of movies together. They saw _Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Titanic, The Sound of Music_ , and _Edward Scissorhands_ just to name a few. Yes, there were many movies that they saw, but there was one movie that they experienced.

“Steve, do you know what a shadow cast is?” asked Tony one October day.

“Shadow cast?” Steve repeated back. “No. I can't say that I've heard this term.” Tony then broke out in a wicked grin.

“Find some clean underwear, Stevie,” said Tony. “We're going to the midnight movie tonight.”

Now, Tony and Steve were pretty big celebrities. They couldn't go anywhere without being recognized. So, they would always rent the movies and watch them at home. This time was different. This time, Tony proudly declared that they were going to the movie theater for a change.

“Won't we be spotted?” asked Steve. “I'm all for going to the movie theater, but I don't want to cause a stir.”

“Don't worry,” said Tony. “Where we're going, no one will notice us.”

With that, he handed Steve a baseball cap and thick plastic glasses. Tony sported a similar minimalistic disguise.

“Just a hat and glasses?” asked Steve as he put on his accessories.

“What did I say about not worrying about it?” asked Tony with playful sternness. “We're just two dudes wearing hats and glasses at the movies. Trust me. You'll see. Not a single pair of eyes will be on us for too long.” Steve was skeptical, but he knew that Tony wouldn't be swayed. So, off they went to go see the shadow cast...whatever that was.

The two men arrived at the movie theater at about 11:30 P.M.

“I thought this movie didn't start until midnight,” implored Steve.

“It doesn't, but you have to get here early to get a good seat,” replied Tony. Steve nodded his head as if he understood. What he really didn't understand was why this movie was being played so darn late. He looked at the poster hanging outside of the theater. It was a plain black background adorned with a pair of enormous blood red lips. Steve was starting to wonder what this movie was all about.

Anyway, Tony approached the ticket window.

The attendant gave Tony a big smile and said, “Hey, dude.”

“I knew it,” Steve thought. “I knew there was no possible way we could go to a movie theater without being recognized.” However, much to Steve's surprise, the attendant didn't act like a typical fanboy.

He just handed Tony the tickets and said, “Enjoy _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ , Mr. Lark.” Mr. Lark? Steve was now super confused.

The two men went into the theater, and Steve couldn't believe his eyes. There were many people milling about the lobby in strange outfits. There were lots of girls in skimpy dresses, boy in tights, and some people in just their underwear. Steve blushed at the indecency of his fellow movie-goers.

“Tony, what's going on?” Steve whispered.

“Don't worry,” said Tony. “You'll see. Oh, and I'm not Tony tonight.”

“If you're not Tony, who are you?” asked Steve.

Steve's question was answered in the form of a young woman brightly saying, “Toby!” Toby? Steve was starting to think that he wasn't going to get a straight answer on anything tonight.

The bright voice belonged to a woman in her early 20s dressed in a bizarre mismatched outfit. She had on a black suit jacket, black men's trousers, a rainbow button-down shirt, a hot pink bow tie, and a pair of plastic red-rimmed sunglasses. She and Tony hugged.

“How are you doing, Toby? Didn't bring Smokey tonight?” she asked.

“Pretty good and no. Smokey couldn't make it this time,” Tony replied.

“Smokey?” thought Steve. “Who on Earth could that be?” He didn't have time to think about it because he then noticed Tony's hand on his shoulder. He was being introduced.

“This is my friend Cleave. Cleave Dodgers,” said Tony.

The girl in the suit jacket offered her hand for a shake and said, “It's great to meet you, Cleave. I'm Jaime. Now, I have to ask. Are you a virgin?” Steve blushed furiously at this girl's personal question.

Tony laughed at his friend's red cheeks and said, “Relax, dude. She just wants to know if you've seen this movie or not.” Then, he turned his attention toward Jaime.

“He hasn't, by the way.” This brought a huge smile to her face.

“A virgin!” she said happily. She turned to Steve and said, “Toby's always good for bringing us virgins.” Then, in one quick motion she stood up on her tiptoes and marked a red “V” on Steve's forehead in lipstick.

Then Jaime said, “Also, all virgins get laid.” Steve was about to run to out of the theater, but then the girl innocently enough produced a plastic lei like the ones found in party stores. She handed it to the befuddled captain and said, “Have fun, you two. I'll see you inside. Hey, Toby, tell Smokey that next time he's here, he's getting a big kiss from me. He was quite the looker.”

Tony smiled and said, “Will do.” 

Before Steve and Tony went into the theater, the former had a few questions for the latter.

“What's going on? Who was that girl? How come nobody recognizes us? Who's Smokey?”

Tony calmly answered with, “This is a midnight showing of _Rocky Horror Picture Show._ That girl was Jaime. She's a greeter. Nobody recognizes us because we are not the celebrities here, the performers are. Smokey is...someone we know. He's one of our...adversaries.” Steve wasn't sure what Tony meant, but then it hit him.

“You don't mean?”

“I do,” answered Tony.

“You took the Norse god of mischief to see a midnight movie?” Tony nodded.

“It was fun. He even wore his lingerie,” said Tony. This mental image cause Steve to go completely pale. He thought it was best to stop asking questions. It was time for him to just shut up and watch the movie.

Unfortunately for him, the movie wasn't starting for about another half hour or so. Steve just had to soak up everything in silence. The theater was full of scanty looking people. Five other girls in clashing suit jackets and dress shirts buzzed about talking to people, marking foreheads, and handing out leis. The screen showed trailers for a cheesy horror movie from the 50s. (Steve recognized one as _Plan 9 from Outer Space._ ) Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Steve was just confused.

At about five of midnight, the projection cut and a girl dressed in a yellow sparkly top hat, matching jacket, a shiny black bustier, rainbow striped shorts, and tap shoes got in the front of the theater.

“Hello and welcome to _The Rocky Horror Picture Show!”_ she bellowed in a microphone. The crowd went nuts “My name is Anna and for the next couple of hours you will be at the mercy of The Royal Transylvanian Family!” More cheering. “Firstly, I need to know who hasn't seen this movie in a theater with a shadow cast before. If you have never seen a live performance of _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_ get on your fucking feet.” Tony pushed Steve out of his seat. He took mild comfort in the fact that he wasn't the only one standing.

“Let's give it up for the virgins!” said Anna. The audience cheered for all of the first-timers. “Ok. Ok.” she said. “It's time for the virgin sacrifice. Girls, go get 'em.” The girls who were were handing out leis went into the audience and each one picked a person to come up to the front with them. Steve felt his heart plummet when Jaime approached him and invited him up.

Tony laughed and said, “Go. It'll make a great story.”

Steve stood in a line across the front of the theater with the other, “virgins.” He was sweating bullets. He didn't know what he was expected to do. More importantly, there was no way he wouldn't get recognized now.

“All right. Looks like a good line up,” said Anna. “Let's start form the beginning.” As she approached Steve, he silently prayed that he'd make it out of there alive. Anna stood next to Steve and said, “All right. I'm gonna ask each virgin three questions. Let's see how they do.”

Anna then turned to Steve and said, “Hey, good-lookin' What's your name?”

Steve became very flustered, but he was able to stammer out, “Cl-Cleave.”

Anna turned her attention back to the audience and said, “He got the first question right!” The clapping from the audience made Steve relax a slight bit. Perhaps he wouldn't get recognized as Captain America after all.

“All right, doll face, next question.” said Anna. “Who's your favorite cartoon character?”

Steve thought for a moment and said, “Superman.” There were a few laughs and claps.

“Not bad. Not bad,” said Anna. “Last question: What would Superman sound like giving an orgasm?” Steve turned beat red. He could here Tony laughing out loud. Steve was perplexed and he didn't know what to do.

So, Steve just quietly said, “Oh, Lois.” The audience (save for Tony) didn't really go for Steve's impression, but he didn't care. Anna accepted it and went onto the next person. The worst was over. In the end, a girl who did a howling rendition of Scooby-Doo was picked as the winner. There was lots of applause all around and Steve was sent back to his seat. Thank goodness.

Steve sat back down and said, “That was really embarrassing. At least the movie's starting now. Everyone will settle down.” This made Tony laugh quite hard.

“What is it?” asked Steve. “What's so funny?” Unfortunately, Steve didn't get his answer.

The lights went down and the whole theater shouted, “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, God said, 'Let there be lips.' And there were and they were good and they sang.”

Steve leaned over to Tony and asked, “Is it going to be like this for the entire movie?”

“Yes,” responded Tony. “Listen, this whole thing is going to be a huge mind-fuck for you. Just relax and try to take everything in as best you can. Ok?” Steve nervously looked at the girl sensuously dancing in front of the screen as a pair of big lips prattled on about science fiction.

“I'll try.”

Steve tried very hard to pay attention to the movie and figure out what was going on. He wasn't too crazy about the incessant talking or the fact that they audience kept referring the main girl as, “slut” but he was willing to look past all of it. Actually, the movie didn't seem so scary. In fact, he thought it was quite fun when everyone stood up and danced, but then the main character was introduced and everything changed for Steve.

There was a man with the face of a woman. From what Steve could see, he was wearing fishnet stockings, black and white stilettos, and a long, black velvet cape. He strutted right passed the two superheros. Steve watched as everyone looked at this woman-faced man in awe. Tony was right. They were not the celebrities that night. This man was. Then, he flicked his cape off. Oh my...

Underneath the cape, the woman-faced man wore black, sparkly lady's lingerie. Steve thought that he should've felt offended by this spectacle, but he didn't. In fact, he found the proclaimed, “sweet transvestite” to be quite the fascinating character...as long as he stayed an arm's length away from Steve. This whole underground world was still making him rather nervous.

Well, he didn't stay away for too long. At one point during the song, he came and plopped down right on Steve's lap and bounced up and down as if he was riding him. Steve blushed a deep red. Tony nearly busted a gut from laughter. While Steve did feel thoroughly embarrassed, he also thought it was pretty cool that this captivating creature sat on his lap. In all honesty though, he felt better when the actor bounced on other people's laps. Steve wasn't being singled out. He was being pulled into the experience.

Steve remained quiet and engaged for the rest of the show. Afterward, the two heroes caught up with the woman-faced actor.

“Toby!” he said in a voice that was higher than Steve expected.

“Hey, Rick,” said Tony. He gestured to Steve and said, “This is my friend Cleave.”

“Oh, I know him,” responded Rick. “I sat on him.” he laughed and Steve laughed along awkwardly.

“Can we get a picture?” Tony asked.

“Of course,” said Rick.

Tony pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to a nearby patron.

“Would you mind taking a picture?” Tony asked. The patron agreed and told the three men to stand close together.

“Give me that sexy leg,” Rick said to Steve as he pulled the captain's thigh up to his crotch. Steve tried his best to smile through his embarrassment, but his nervousness was evident in the snapshot. Tony laughed as he inspected it.

“You look great,” Tony teased at Steve. “I'll send it to you.”

The next morning, Natasha caught up with Tony.

“How did things go last night?" Natasha asked. "Did you sacrifice Steve's virginity to the Transylvanian gods?” Tony laughed.

“It went well. Steve didn't hate it, but I really don't think it was his thing. He didn't say much after.”

“Well, you tried,” said Natasha.

“Yeah,” Tony agreed. “I can't say that I didn't.” Little did Tony know, when Steve received the text with the picture form the night before in it, he printed it out and kept in the drawer of his bedside table. Although he didn't show it, Steve thoroughly enjoyed his trip to Transsexual Transylvania. He couldn't wait to go back and see the shadow cast again.


End file.
